Review, From Lily to Rachaelle

So, just to start it off I’d like to say good job for tackling a highly controversial topic, concerning the sticky issue of Christianity and discussing a statement about the degradation of man, and how mankind is ruining the planet.

Probs, brah

Next, I liked your diction and the organization of your thoughts, and your language was certainly appropriate for an academic piece. However, I think you should go back and read it aloud, as if you’ve never seen it before because sometimes your sentence structure was a bit confusing. Look out for when you should add a comma and conjunction, or break the sentence up into two sentences, etc. A couple times I got a bit derailed in my reading because of the flow of your words mid-sentence.

Finally, and perhaps most crucially, while I really enjoyed your comments on such a long-lasting religious discourse that Atwood was dancing with, I failed to see you integrate an integral part of the essay prompt that called for you to explain how the novel engaged with “a single issue, debate, political movement, etc from the time of its publication.” While I enjoyed your analysis, I couldn’t help but think that…

… something is missing here…

So with that in mind, you need to somehow connect your discussion with a significant movement of the time.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s